Abuse Survivor

This blog is meant to encourage all those who have been stepped on and walked over by cults or people, whether they have been in bad marriages, abusive friendships, or any kind of presupposed relationship where someone has taken advantage of them. We all know this is a two way street, but it can be something that we think we deserve and actually do not.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Ladies, Don't Delude Yourself!

This is a heads up for you ladies who are in relationships. If you feel sorry for him, WATCH OUT! If he depends on you, WATCH OUT! If you have to help him think, WATCH OUT! These are three things that I never thought I would have to repeat again in my life. I had thought I would never see heartache again. Let me explain.

I was in college, working for my master's degree. I was in my mid-fifties. I started tutoring a man who wanted to get his BA with all he was worth. In time I was editing his papers for him, because his communication skills were obviously non-existent. Pretty soon, I stopped charging him, because he kept looking at his watch instead of concentrating on learning what I was trying to teach him. Eventually, I began typing out his papers, arranging his sentences in the way they should be to form paragraphs. He had an English teacher who was suspicious of things, because he could not perform an in class essay in the way that his papers appeared to be written. I had to fear getting caught and disciplined, jeopardizing my own degree progress. It did not happen that way, and I am grateful to God for that.

Eventually, we became closer than teacher and student, and we finally got married. I spent a lot of money on him, and when I finally got my degree, and began teaching, I had to leave him alone for long periods of time. I had to stop working such long hours, so I took a job where I was not making so much money, and could be home longer. When I ran into trouble was when I could not keep him in the lifestyle I had done before, and he consistently complained to his siblings that he didn't have any money. They helped him divorce me, and at the time all this transpired, I had a broken foot, and could no longer work. I had to take an early retirement, not being about to work for five more years, as I had planned. So my pension is not what I would want it to be, and I have many more financial problems than I would like to have.

Ladies, if you are secure as a single person, I implore you to stay that way. Don't put your life in jeopardy for a guy who can't operate on his own. It is not worth it.

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